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Fearless Guides eZine: Live Joyously in a Fear-based World.
Issue #10
Feeling Trapped?
This newsletter is focused on helping you to free yourself from any self-imposed traps you may be experiencing. The anecdotes and practices provided here will help you move from feeling trapped to feeling empowered to make positive changes.
Feeling trapped is one of the worst feelings that I have experienced. When I feel trapped, I also feel powerless, hopeless, and depressed. However, when I am connected to my essential truth – that I am a powerful being capable of anything that I can imagine – then I rarely feel trapped.
There have been many times in my life when I have felt trapped in an unhappy situation – a job, a relationship, even a house that I didn't like. I was in a bad situation but was powerless to change it. And I felt trapped.
What does it feel like when I believe I am trapped? It is a mixture of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. My body feels tense. I don't have much energy. I am looking at the world through foggy, gray lenses. I want to escape and numb out.
When I feel trapped, I am disconnected from my source and have forgotten that I am where I am (job, relationship, house) due to choices that I have made. I have disconnected from my power. And the only way to change my circumstances is to make a different choice and move into action. It doesn't have to be the perfect choice – in fact there is not one right course of action. I just need to test the waters of other options.
The funny thing is, that when I made my original choice I was trying to meet an inner need – for security, love, self-worth. I believed that my original choice would meet this need. Problem is, many of my choices were driven by unconscious, unfulfilled needs.
I chose a job as a strategy consultant after I got my MBA at Carnegie Mellon because I was looking for fun and challenging work and money. Problem was, the company I chose wasn't that fun. I did want fun and challenge but what I had really been seeking when I accepted this particular job offer was high-salary that would show me and the world that I was worthwhile. I got the high salary but not the inner fulfillment.
So, I needed to make a different choice. I chose to leave my high-paying, unfulfilling job and start my own company. Just by making that choice and moving into action, I felt empowered. Now, I knew two months into that job that it wasn't a good fit for me. It took me two years to plan my move and figure out what to do next.
Where are you on your path? Have you just figured out that a particular situation isn't a good fit? Or, have you been feeling trapped for a long time? Check out August's practice to free yourself from traps.
Fear Cure: Release Your Traps
So, how do you move from feeling trapped to being empowered? Move into action.
Start by identifying the area of your life where you feel trapped. It could be your career, a relationship, your living situation, your health.
Ask yourself why you made the original choice to be in this situation. What were your assumptions going in to the new situation? Remember, we make decisions and choices with less than perfect information. Once we gather new information, it is wise to reflect upon our choices and give ourselves permission to make different choices.
Now, sit quietly and feel yourself being trapped in your current situation. What story are you telling yourself about this job, relationship, etc.? How does your body feel? Breathe and pay attention. Notice if you are feeling pain, shortness of breath, tension. You are experiencing the fight/flight response stimulated by fear and anxiety. You will not find a creative solution from this space.
Now, tell yourself that you have unlimited options in this situation. Notice how your body changes. Do you feel more relaxed? Is your breathing deeper? What has changed? It is from this relaxed and open state that you will find your answers.
Pick up your journal. Jot down whatever ideas come to you. Do this as many times as needed. Meditate. Relax. Ask questions.
If you are struggling with this practice, you may want to join a Fearless Coaching Group - new groups are starting in September!
Inspirations
"Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand -- and melting like a snowflake." -- Marie Beyon Ray
"The people that get on in this world are the people that get up and look for the circumstances that they want; and if they can't find them, they make them." -- George Bernard Shaw
"Everything you do can be done better from a place of relaxation." -- Inneractions by Stephen C. Paul and Gary Max Collins.
"Remove the rock from your shoe rather than learn to limp comfortably." -- Inneractions by Stephen C. Paul and Gary Max Collins.
Go forth and prosper!,
Debra Thorsen
Personal and Executive Coach
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© 2005 Debra Thorsen, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Fearless Guides eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:
"By Debra Thorsen of Fearless Guides. Please visit Debra's web site at www.fearlessguides.com for more articles and resources on breaking free from the corporate world." (Make sure the link is live if placed in an eZine or in a web site.)
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