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Fearless Guides eZine
Ideas, Inspiration, and Practices for living joyously in a fear-based world.
December 2005
Season of Joy?
As we head into the holiday season, I remind myself that this is
supposed to be a season of joy. But for many of us, it is a season of
stress.
I was raised in a typical American pseudo-Christian household that did
all of the commercial Christmas things. The majority of my holiday
seasons have gone like this: spend lots of money, worry if I bought
everyone the "perfect" gift, eat a lot, drink too much, spend a lot of
time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning, experience euphoria on
Christmas Eve and Christmas day, followed by a big crash after the New
Year. Then, I would tough it through the boring, blah winter months.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
In reality, why should the end of December be any different from the
rest of the year? Ideally, every day is one of celebration and joy.
Some people love the glitz and glamour of the holiday season. Others
despise the commercialization of the holidays. Why do some people see
what they like and others focus on what they don't like? Well, it's
all a matter of controlling your focus, emotions, and thoughts.
I used to roll my eyes and wax poetic on the corruption of sacred
holidays. Geez, people get into debt, get stressed out, everything is
for sale - "peace", "joy", "love" - I would rumble.
However, since I have changed my view from one of scarcity to one of
abundance, I see things a bit differently. Now, I marvel at the
abundance of gifts, decorations, food, etc. Wow! This is a really
abundant world, I think. And, I can choose whatever I want from this
holiday smorgasbord. I am free to leave whatever I want alone.
I have finally learned to stay grounded, centered, and peaceful during
this time of the year. And when January 2nd arrives, I am no more or
less energized or burnt-out than I was on December 2nd.
How do I do this? By remembering the following 3 things:
1) I am in control of my experience - I can choose all of my
activities,conversations, and people who I interact with. It is
possible to say "no" when I am invited to a holiday event that I don't
really want to attend. I am in control of my schedule.
As the holidays approach, I spend some time meditating and refecting
upon what experience I would like to have. This year, I want my
daughter to experience the wisdom of all of the sacred holidays and
the winter solstice. So, my husband and I are going to have fun
celebrating lots of days.
I love getting a tree and decorating it and singing carols - these give
me joy. I love baking cookies with my mom. I enjoy shopping for
meaningful gifts on the internet. I enjoy spending time with friends.
I will make one trip to the mall to see the decorations. I will pause
to reflect upon the change of seasons. I will cook healthful meals,
meditate, and exercise as I always do.
2) Joy and peace are inner jobs.
Whenever something happens - an event or thought - that disturbs my
peace and equanimity, I have an opportunity to explore what button has
been pushed. A guru has showed up to show me how to maintain my natural
state of peace and joy. Thank you! If I overextend myself and get too
tired and cranky, I will get a reminder to slow down and rest. If I get
angry at having to do something, this is a reminder that I missed an
opportunity to say "no".
3) Every day is a celebration. I can experience joy without the
hysterical holiday euphoria by counting my blessings every day and
knowing that each day is a gift. As I celebrate these "special" days
with my family and friends, I have a unique opportunity to express my
love in focused ways.
Remember: Choose joy. Make each and every day special. Make it a
celebration.
Cure for Fear
After your meditation practice, spend some time reflecting on what you
like and don't like about the holiday season. If you were to design a
perfect couple of days or weeks, what would it look and feel like? Who
would you spend time with? Where would you go? What holiday(s) would
you choose to celebrate? Make this part of your daily intention
setting and if you find that your current plans don't groove with your
desires, then make a change now. Book that cruise, cancel unwanted
travel. It is your life - do what makes YOU happy. You are not
responsible for anyone else's happiness. If you are dreading a trip to
the in-laws, then cancel it or cut it short. Practice Joy!
Go forth and prosper!
Debra Thorsen
Personal and Professional Coach
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© 2005 Debra Thorsen, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Fearless Guides eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:
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