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Fearless Guides eZine
Ideas, Inspiration, and Practices for living joyously in a fear-based world.
Issue #9
Freedom
What is freedom? I believe that freedom is the ability to make choices on how you spend your time, energy, and money.
Christopher J. McCullough, in his book, Nobody's Victim: Freedom from Therapy and Recovery writes, "In order to live your freedom, you must first accept reality. ‘These are the choices, and given those choices, which do I choose?' Whether the option you select is pleasant or painful does not alter the fact that, given reality, this is your preference.
"To live your freedom, it is helpful to stop and ask yourself, ‘Why am I doing this?' and then notice whether, given the options, you are choosing what you really want, or whether you want to choose something else.... Sometimes the exercise of freedom involves naming your poison -- all choices may lead to outcomes that are in some way painful. But the real pain is that of feeling powerless -- denying your freedom."
The problem with us adults living freely and claiming our freedom on a moment-by-moment basis is that our personal freedom has been stripped away by well-meaning parents and institutions.
Daniel Greenberg writes in Education in America, "Were you ever forced to eat broccoli when you were a child? Or carrots? Did you grow up hating them, having nightmares about dinner plates heaped high with brussels sprouts and kale? Everyone likes to eat. Nature has seen to it that this is so, for survival. But even such a popular pastime can be made repugnant through force feeding, because more than anything else in the world, people hate coercion."
So much of our society is based upon coercion. School is mandatory, grades and testing force children to learn subjects that they aren't interested in, parents have tons of rules for children to live by, and by the time we are adults and able to make our own decisions, many of us have lost touch with our inner compass, our inner knowing, and we just make decision based upon what is expected of us or we make choices dicated by societal norms. Not a fun way to live.
Cure for Fear: Reclaim your Freedom
So, how do you start to experience true freedom in your life? Examine the choices that you are making.
Let's follow Christopher McCollough's sage advice and ask ourselves, "Why am I doing this?"
There are many reasons why you may be doing something: 1) you think you SHOULD be doing it; 2) someone else is asking you to do it or demanding that you do it (boss, teacher, spouse, etc.); 3) it is an activity that will help you to achieve a desired goal; 4) it is the best available alternative; or 5) you really WANT to be doing it.
If you find that you have resistance to an activity, then ask yourself why you are doing it. I find that when it is something you think you should be doing, you need to reexamine the activity and explore where that "should" came from. If this is something that you really don't want to be doing, then stop doing it!
If you find yourself marching to the beat of someone else's drum too often, then you need to explore your ability to say "No". And you need to discover how much of your time and energy and money you actually control.
It would be a rare person who always does what they want to be doing. As Christopher McCollough points out, often personal freedom means picking our poison. Not all choices are pleasant. The important part of this daily exercise is to ensure that we are aware of our choices and making conscious choices.
Inspirations
Here are some thought-provoking quotes about freedom:
“Just the concept of personal freedom within a democracy, for instance, is a relatively young idea - only about 300 years old in this country.”
"Children do not have rights in school, they do not participate in meaningful decision-making at school (even where the decisions directly affect their own lives), nor do they have the freedom of self-determination in school. In fact, the schools are models of autocracy — sometimes benevolent, sometimes cruel, but always in direct conflict with the principles on which our country is based. "
-- Daniel Greenberg
“Freedom is man's capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our capacity to mold ourselves."
-- Dr. Rollo May
"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility."
-- Sigmund Freud
Go forth and prosper!,
Debra Thorsen
Personal and Professional Coach
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© 2005 Debra Thorsen, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Fearless Guides eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:
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